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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"

"I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful."

"My phone just autocorrected ""doofus"" to ""doodie""...and I thought *I* was immature."

"What do you call the pirate with the second largest penis? Long John Silver First of my original jokes to actually make my girlfriend chuckle."

"I guess hookers are getting into the holiday spirit. I seen one today advertising pumpkin spice pussy."

"Why are the saxophone afraid of the trombone? Because the trombone is a sax offender."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew? Only one makes it back from camp."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood. Neat huh!"

"Why didn't the schizo cross the road He was in two minds about it."