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Joke of the Day

"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."

"Old people at weddings poke me and say ""Your next"". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"How to make holy water You shake the hell out of it."

"Why doesn't NASA send cows to space? Because the stakes would be too high."

"Why are baby cows considered lunch meat? Because calves are below-knee"

"The Koala should be classified as a bear It has all the Koalafications"

"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""

"FBI offers to help France investigate the terrorist attacks. So far, they think North Korea is behind it."

"What's it called when Batman leaves the church early? Christian Bale"

"Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that's how I feel today."