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Joke of the Day

"A paper cut is a tree's last revenge."

"A wizard is walking down the street... EDIT: Then he turns into a bar. Sorry, put this in the comment rather than the text field. Guilty as charged."

"What do you call a pair of snakeskin trousers? Serpants."

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."

"""Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?"" -chickens"

"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"I think that bisexual girls should just call themselves more-or-lesbians."

"How do you get Americans to join a World War? Tell them it's nearly finished."

"Husband: Have you lost weight? Me: About 10 lbs H: Who you trying to look good for? *wink M: You don't know him. He's on Twitter..."

"[Takes dog to park] *waits for romantic comedy to begin"