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Joke of the Day

"A paper cut is a tree's last revenge."

"What do you call a team of Slavic supervillains? A Suicide Squat"

"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"

"Mom called to ask if I'd take her shopping. Me: What time? Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"My paper boy is Jamaican... My paper is always late, and it's always rolled nice and tight"

"Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids."

"Why do some people call it a ""tuna-fish"" sandwich? It's not like anyone calls it a ""chicken-bird"" sandwich."

"To all you ladder manufacturers, I got something to tell you. Step it up!"

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."