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Joke of the Day

"Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that ""taste like chicken""? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism. Edit: grammar"

"What do you call a fake noodle? an IMPASTA"

"Dad I have to poo! ""Dad I have to poo!"" No answer. ""Dad I have to poo!"" Still no answer. ""Dad I really have to poo!"" ""OK son, I'm pulling out."""

"I love avocados in my salad I would go buy some right now, but I don't have a car doe"

"Knock knock.. (feat. My 9yo brother) Knock knock.. \*sigh..\* Who's there? Interrupting doctor Interrupting doct-- You have cancer."

"Pet Insurance Hey baby. Do you have pet insurance? Because I'm about to destroy your pussy!"

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."

"Me: I LOVE Pokemon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:"

"During my last prostate exam I asked my doctor to stick in another finger. Because I wanted a second opinion."

"APPLE GENIUS: [looks around nervously] if I had a criticism of this phone it would be that- {trapdoor} NEW APPLE GENIUS: that it's perfect."