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Joke of the Day

"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."

"Me and my wife were happy for 20 years... ...then we met each other"

"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."

"A: Took my temperature today. B: Oh really? A: No, rectally."

"Accidentally sent a guy a ;) instead of a :), now one of us is probably pregnant."

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet."

"Why did Moses only go down on redheaded girls? He's into that burning bush."

"Hey Nikon, just a friendly heads-up here... NOBODY gives one single fuck what camera Ashton Kutcher uses."

"hey, whats the definition of a will? come on guys, its a dead giveaway"