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Joke of the Day
"I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear."
Next Joke
"Bridge is like sex If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"I wish that if you stopped yourself from sneezing enough times you could shoot an energy ball out of your hand."
"Nothing's sadder than the look on my dog's face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty."
"What do you call a black person flying an airplane? A pilot, you fucking racist!"
"The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun."
"First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop."
"Give a man a match and he's warm for a day.... Set fire to a man and he's warm for the rest of his life."
"I am going to make a new app that will be like Twitter exclusively for kids! It will be called Sesame Tweet."
"Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning. Facebook: Be the first person to like this."