146673

Joke of the Day

"I am going to make a new app that will be like Twitter exclusively for kids! It will be called Sesame Tweet."

"If you smoke a lot of cigarettes & gaze out of a window while your foot is propped up on something you can figure out pretty much anything."

"What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson? Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it."

"Emails So I had to stop redirecting my emails to the girls in my class. They said I was being too forward."

"What do you call a manic bear? A bipolar bear."

"What do alcoholics and necropheliacs have in common? They both love to crack open a cold one."

"I heard going on the internet gives you dementia. Who are you?"

"Christians have the first name Christian, Muslims Mohammed, Jews Isaac, what boys name do atheist have? Godfrey"

"I noticed you just hit the snooze alarm. MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"

"My wife calls it ""woman's intuition"" but I call it ""not clearing your browser history."""