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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final? The referee"

"A 3 legged dog walks into a bar... Bartender says ""what can I get you?"" dog replies ""nothing.... I'm just looking for the man who shot my paw"""

"What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison? ""I'm stumped."""

"Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff... Ba dum tss."

"A man goes to the Doctor for a physical. The doctor says, ""I'm sorry but you are going to need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor says, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"Why do black men make such good husbands? Because they're already used to being whipped."

"I sleep naked because I want burglars to feel weird."

"What is the most popular dating website in the south? Ancestry.com"

"Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread? Well, we had to do something with the ovens."