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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the Doctor for a physical. The doctor says, ""I'm sorry but you are going to need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor says, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

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"How did Canada get its name? C eh, N eh, D eh."
"She'll be coming around the Mountain when she comes. - Mountain bragging."
"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special"
"What did Hugh Hefner say when he got to heaven? meh"
"What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out your meat."
"If children refuse to sleep during nap time... ...are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
"[catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened."
"Kid: Daddy, where do babies come from? Dad: Storks deliver them Kid: but where do baby storms come from? Dad: ...Fuck."
"Wives are like hurricanes They're wet and wild to begin with, but when they leave they take everything"
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