56820
Joke of the Day
"I sleep naked because I want burglars to feel weird."
Next Joke
"Ha - mildly amusing Haha - funny Hahaha - sarcastic laugh Hahahaha - stayin' alive"
"What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House? Precedent."
"Happy Fathers Day to all you mother fuckers!"
"Casual sex is like a math equation... You add the bed, subtract your cloths, divide your legs, and hope you don't multiply"
"I had a one night stand yesterday..but then today I decided to return it to ikea"
"Did you ever ask your parents what went wrong, people named Lasagna?"
"Easiest and quickest way to get me to shut up, open my mouth and get on my knees is to simply make it rain Skittles."
"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."
"If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid."