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Joke of the Day

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them. (Works better in spoken format, I know)"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died."

"The Fountain of Iniquity When your honest living has you worrying about pinching pennies, throw them into the wishing well and scoop up all the quarters."

"I read an interesting stat online the other day.... Apparently 1 in two and a half men are HIV positive."

"How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers."

"What kind of container is appropriate for noble gases? An innertube."

"Give a man a fish, sickening him with botulism which spreads rapidly, people begin dying in droves, STACKS OF CORPSES BLOT OUT THE SUN."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Force of habit sir. Our chef used to be a tailor."

"It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars."