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Joke of the Day

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

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"Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!"
"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one But I don't have the balls to do that anymore."
"Two atoms are walking down the street... One of them says, ""Oh my. I think I've lost an electron."" And the other says, ""Oh my God! It's a talking atom!"""
"If you ever feel like you can't do something, just remember... Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film."
"Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement? It was actually sham-poo. *thunderous applause*"
"Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They're mostly Julys."
"What's the difference between a lesbian and a canoe? A canoe tips."
"I bet the guy who named it The Big Bang was super horny that day."
"How did Saddam deal with his leftovers? He used sarin wrap"