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Joke of the Day

"What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime? Web Development."

"I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit."

"Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion."

"I'd do a joke about amphibians. But they've all been toad."

"I was proud and surprised when my wife gave birth... But deep down, I knew she had it in her."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing... they're both stuck up bitches."

"The replacement refs pulled a @KimKardashian last night (screwed 53 rich black guys at the same time)."

"I've been in chemistry lectures all day... I'm absolutely Bohred to death!"

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first."