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Joke of the Day

"Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion."

"$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint."

"Hope Rod Stewart knows that Maggie May stopped listening to the song when he sang, ""The morning sun in your face really shows your age."""

"Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he felt funny. (I can't take credit for this joke, my boss's 8y/o son came up with it.)"

"The police caught a man masturbating in public. As they were arrestng him, they told him, ""You came in the wrong neighborhood."""

"What did they stamp on the Asian baby as he came out of his mother's womb? Made in Va-China."

"In which sub does OP deliver most often? /r/babybumps/"

"The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake."

"FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch? PIGLET: Beets me!"

"The First Joke I wrote and Performed http://youtu.be/jENBlYJ6eOk"