32762

Joke of the Day

"I'd do a joke about amphibians. But they've all been toad."

"Why did the cactus cross the road? It got stuck to the chicken."

"I can't remember where I parked my car an hour ago but I can recall how stupid I was at 20. Please God erase that memory & bring back my car"

"I don't drink anymore. Cocaine is a Hell of a drug!"

"Detroit is the first city to make community college free! There are no community colleges in Detroit."

"A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll."

"Boy: Our Principal So Stupid Girl:Don't You Know Who i am? Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am? Boy: Good (Walks Away)"

"I'm madly in love with a girl who's a solipsist... ...but she doesn't even know I exist. :("

"I can get into aquariums for free, because I donated a whale! I guess my ex's sister was useful for something after all."

"My girlfriend might not appriciate this. Me: I've got something to tell you. Gf: Don't say that makes me anxious. Me: I've got a date. Gf: ??? Me: http://imgur.com/GeYB7xY Still to hear back from her."