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Joke of the Day

"I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit."

"What I don't understand is, how did Jabba the Hutt become so powerful? He's just a fat, lecherous crook. Wait"

"Hi college freshmen! I hope when you selected bedding for your dorm room you asked yourself, ""Can I see myself throwing up on this pattern?"""

"Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer."

"What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Stop going in circles and get to the point."

"Guess what I got asked at the hairdresser's earlier. Fucking everything."

"A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night."

"My brother volunteered to perform my sons circumcision But I could never force kin to do that."

"I wake up easy most of the time, but every now and then, I wake up hard."

"What's small, orange and sounds like a parrot? An oompa loompa with a sore throat."