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Joke of the Day

"What is Donald Trump's favourite ice cream? Walls Vanilla Carte D'or - It's not Mexican! (*I am going to hell for this!)"

"They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but actually... A plateau is."

"What's the most flexible type of music group? An elastic band."

"If what people thought of you, what you thought of yourself and who you really are ever met, the three of you wouldn't recognize each other."

"Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode really..."

"Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask ""where am I?"" and whatever they say I runaway screaming ""Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"""

"One of my favorites from Fallout 3: I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"""Ok, I know this is creepy af but check this out.."" -first taxidermist"

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."