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Joke of the Day

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."

"""We have literally a zillion binders full of selfies."" - Top Secret NSA Memo"

"TIFU by pretending to be stabbed by a jihadi."

"Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper? Because Jesus saves."

"Why do they call the 3 musketeers.. musketeers? Not one of them uses a musket =( justsayian"

"What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ? Terrified !"

"""only watch up to two hours of tv a day"" oh well i dont have time to watch tv because i stay on the internet all day so im good and healthy"

"The problem with political jokes is that... They get elected."

"JUDITH! FETCH MY EVIL PLAN GLASSES! *2 hours later has organised a small festival* Dammit Judith, these are my party planning glasses!"

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""