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Joke of the Day

"One of my favorites from Fallout 3: I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims."

"LPT: If you feel too cold, and can't afford central heating ...Just stand in a corner of your house. They are usually ~ 90"

"Paris Hilton picked up the new Galaxy Note 7.... That's Hot."

"The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree."

"A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!"

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"Your mama's so fat We are all genuinely concerned about her health."

"What's your favorite racial (but not racist) joke? How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian!"

"Me: hello, police? I think I'm living with a murderer! Last night, she came home with a body... Crap! She just came in. Cat: *meow*"

"Furniture salesperson: Do you see anything you like? Waldo: Actually yes this red and white couch is quite nice."