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Joke of the Day

"Hunting should only be legal if the animals are allowed to use weapons as well. I just want to see a bear with a sniper rifle."

"Men who claim to only watch the #SuperBowl for the ads are the same ones who say they only read Playboy for the articles."

"TIL Amedeo Avogadro died of skin cancer. He never got that nasty mol checked."

"I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it."

"Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names."

"Did you hear about the new Fairy BDSM book? Fifty Shades of Fae."

"That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix."

"What was Hitler's favorite food? steamed Franks"

"Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE"

"Every time I'm at a friend's house I look at the ceiling & say ""You like to watch, don't you.."" so I look cool if they have a hidden spy cam"