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Joke of the Day

"Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE"

"what's the longest word in a black man's dictionary? sheeeeeeeeeeeeit.."

"What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ? An independant !"

"I heard this joke about a guy who gave oral sex to his sister's daughter. It was a real niece lapper."

"Naming your cat ""Whiskers"" is like naming your kid ""Eyebrows."""

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. The fraction guy reminded me of this."

"""I tell you, this car runs like a dream!"" I change gears and the gearstick turns into a swan. I turn on the wipers & it rains on the inside."

"What's the most popular type of car in Turkey? Coupe"

"A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse."