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Joke of the Day
"Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names."
Next Joke
"Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want."
"Hey gurl are you an integral? Because I'd gladly replace my x with u."
"I always say ""morning"" instead of ""good morning"". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people."
"Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with ""daaaaad I have to peeeeee"""
"Did you hear about the guy who was caught having sex at Sea World? Apparently he did it on porpoise."
"What will happen if somebody were to kill all Scotsmen? They will get off scot-free."
"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"
"What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to? A grudge."
"Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur"