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Joke of the Day

"Every time I'm at a friend's house I look at the ceiling & say ""You like to watch, don't you.."" so I look cool if they have a hidden spy cam"

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"what do you call a slutty french fry? a potat-hoe"
"After their meal of rawmen and a cup of joe, what do cannibals use to freshen their breath? MenToes"
"High cholesterol food will always have a special place in my heart."
"Why do women get so upset when they miscarry? They just can't come to terms with it"
"Me: Whatcha making? Mom: Dill bread. Me: So, do you have yeast on your dill dough? Mom: Get out."
"I've been ""watching my weight"" and, rest assured, it's still there."
"""Doctor, I have an embarrassing medical problem..."" NSFW Well, what is it?"" asks the doctor. ""I have five penises."" ""Five penises!,"" exclaims the doctor, ""How does your underwear fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""
"""I'm so hard right now"" - math"
"Someone told me my math skills were average. I replied that they were just being mean."