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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto! You call him Roberto...."

"What happened to the two zombies who went on a date? They had a *Necro*mantic** time."

"My daughter asked me to help her with her math homework so I had to sit her down and explain that breast implants are way easier than math."

"INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote ""I ain't afraid of no ghosts"" ME: *sweating profusely* Yeah why, do any ghosts work here?"

"My dad wears loosey-whities."

"""HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!"" ""Has it got ears?"" ""YEAH."" ""Tail?"" ""YEAH."" ""Is it the dog?"" ""I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"""

"*Becomes a black hole* *Only absorbs corndogs*"

"Sweep her off her feet, but not like the bad guy from Karate Kid."

"My 6 year old son told me this, ""what did one ocean say to the other?"". Nothing, he just waved."

"GEORGE WASHINGTON: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money THOMAS JEFFERSON: Great idea. Did you get that? YODA (taking notes): Yep"