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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a slut during the holidays? A Mistlehoe."

"Why Can't Charlie Sheen Finish the Alphabet? Because when he gets to 'P' it burns."

"Sorry about the typos lately you gays."

"How do you know a presidential candidate is lying? Their lips are moving."

"Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience."

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"I love campfire smoke so much ... it brings tears to my eyes."

"*draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*"

"Do you remember that barbeque you had? The one where I had my meat all up on your grill?!?!?!"

"No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word."