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Joke of the Day

"*draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*"

"I like my women like i like my coffee Without a dick"

"today, my girlfriend asked me for a dick pic.... but the NASA didn't let me use the Hubble Space telescope.."

"I wish my cocaine was emo so it would cut itself."

"Why do Redditors post pics of East Indian food? For that sweet, sweet Korma..."

"Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul."

"""Dad Is that a killer whale?"" ""No son thats an orca"" ""Oh. Well what's a killer whale?"" ""U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed"

"Moths must love dying because they get to go towards the light. Ughh I just anthropomorphised moths with unverified human ideas about death."

"What happened to German Orphans after WW2? Did they ever get back on the Reich track? (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)"

"Gold chains would make a great retirement gift. For a VERY good slave."