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Joke of the Day
"Girl on my kids hockey team is a real whore She even got two minutes for hooking."
Next Joke
"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"
"After thinking about how bad the average person is at math I've realized that about 75% of people are worse."
"If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news."
"Did you hear about the doctor who killed anyone over 15 stone? He was a mass murderer."
"What happened when Cinderella got to the ball ? She gagged."
"Did you hear about the tap dancer? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink."
"How to tell if someone is pedantic Say, ""Hey, you're being pretty pendantic."" If they respond with this, they're pedantic: ""No, I'm *pe*dantic, not *pen*dantic."""
"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower."
"What did one candle say to the other? ""Don't birthdays burn you up?"""