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Joke of the Day

"After thinking about how bad the average person is at math I've realized that about 75% of people are worse."

"I'm gonna put a Whoopee Cushion on the front of my car so that if I hit anything it'd atleast be a little funny."

"PIGS A woman is walking her dog, when suddenly a man walks up to her. Man: ""Where'd you get the pig""? Woman: ""How DARE you call my dog that!"" Man: ""I was talking to the dog!"""

"""Do you think I could sell this couch on Craigsface?"" --Grandma"

"As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince. It's my husband's dream now."

"How does a Welshman find sheep in tall grass? Irresistible."

"What is worst then the holocaust? 6 million Jews"

"[presentation] GUY WITH A COMBOVER NAMED IAN: So that's our plan for the next year. Any questions? ME: Why did you call your combover Ian?"

"My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, ""I WIN! I WIN!"""

"After 15 years, I finally met my dad. He's a pharmacist."