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Joke of the Day

"If I see you wearing those toe shoes, I will call the police and give them your description every time a crime is reported on the news."

Next Joke
 
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming"
"so sick of people who aren't Beyonce"
"Encyclopedias are just ghetto Google."
"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves! No, I'm just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."
"DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? I do take the lift sir."
"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years time... Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision."
"It's confusing when a girl is both beautiful and doesn't listen to terrible music."
"[God making trees] God: ""They're alive but not. Every now & then they drop food."" Angel: ""I don't--"" God: ""Also they breathe the opposite."""