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Joke of the Day

"I'm sure a spider is never scrutinized for spending too much time on the web."

"You know what George Bush and Floyd Mayweather have in common? W."

"Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head? Lice. Lice, maybe."

"Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge... Whatever floats your goat."

"Anti-vaxxers make me SICK! Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles"

"Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? [removed]"

"I'd tell my neighbor about the weird smell coming from her apartment, but she's been so quiet that I don't want to disturb her."

"I was working on a new rape joke, but i couldn't get the punchline to flow right. It just came off sounding too forced."

"The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it."