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Joke of the Day

"I was working on a new rape joke, but i couldn't get the punchline to flow right. It just came off sounding too forced."

Next Joke
 
"A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she found out she said ""ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"" ""Yes, I'm not kidding you."" he said."
"It's my wife birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she's in for a rude awakening. I'm buying her a Tourettes alarm clock."
"Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian? Cuz they got tired of Stalin."
"It's crazy how quick women are to cut each other's throats over a guy! I mean I'd understand if it were shoes....but a guy???"
"What did the pizza say to the pizza cutter? Wanna pizza me?"
"A pirate walks in a bar. A man notices that he has a wheel attached to his groin. He then asked the pirate , how can you live with that man? The Pirate replies Arrrghh! It drives me nuts!!!"
"How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her two test tickles I will see myself out. Thank you and have a good day"
"I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap."
"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"