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Joke of the Day

"Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls first guys says ""man, I really wish I could do that!"" seconds guy says ""pet him real nice and he'll probably let you"""

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"My wife told me that she isn't very happy with our sex life. A small part of me disagrees."
"A nun walks into a grocery store Nun: ""Hi I'd like to buy a cucumber."" Clerk: ""Well, why don't you buy two, so you can eat one."""
"What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future? Cristobal"
"There are three kinds of people in this world People who know math and people who don't."
"5 out of 6 scientists feel Russian Roulette is safe"
"Q. Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? R. Charged With Battery!"
"Poker? I can't even see who you're pointing at!"
"What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East? Dora the EXPLODER"
"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Santa."" ""Santa who?"" ""Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."""