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Joke of the Day

"""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Santa."" ""Santa who?"" ""Santa who has to use the door because you left your fireplace burning, jackass."""

"What did one suicide bomber say to the other? ""Dude, I don't think it worked."""

"I love babies... ...but I can't finish a whole one."

"I gave my friend an elephant for his room He said: ""Thank you!"" I said: ""Don't mention it."""

"Joke's on you, jerk that sold me oregano instead of weed. I was going to make pizza sauce anyway."

"If your girlfriend starts smoking... Slow down and use a lubricant."

"Two lying, click-bait advertisers walk into a bar. You'll never believe what happens next!"

"What's dark, empty and going no where fast? Your love life."

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."

"I got my first real 6-string Bought it at the 5 & dime Played it til my fingers bled Mom sued the guitar manufacturer & settled out of court"