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Joke of the Day

"GF just thought of the best name for a drink. The Vadge Liqueur. (Should I be concerned? This was totally random)"

"How many Ferguson police does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just shoot the room for being black."

"How many dothraki does it take to open a door? Idk, but they sure are hot."

"What do you call 'a woman's understanding'? Misunderstanding"

"What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch? He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes."

"I have a very dry sense of humor. So I drink moisturizer."

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? Their middle name."

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

"A good way to break up with a girl is to leave her a trail of rose petals starting from her front door to North Korea."

"ME: I fell in the shower. HIM: Send pics"