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Joke of the Day

"I have a very dry sense of humor. So I drink moisturizer."

"What's your best Hitler joke?"

"What is the hardest part about your wife telling you she has AIDS? Acting surprised."

"My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues."

"Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !"

"Your Momma so fat when I download porn of her on the Internet I exceed my monthly data cap"

"I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?"

"Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry."

"A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, I forgot to put up the caution tape!"" Edit: fixed spelling"

"[about to have sex] WIFE: what happened to all the condoms?! [cut to] ME: *making balloon animals at work* [cut back] ME: affair"