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Joke of the Day

"The driver & Police Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"I let my baby girl know she can do anything. Except taking the bow out of her hair cuz IT'S REALLY CUTE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE IT ALONE."

"It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver's seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand."

"What was the allergic 2""X4""'s terrifying hallucination? He sawdust."

"Why aren't there any mexicans in the Olympics? Cuz all that can run, jump or swim have got their ass over here."

"""Don't fret."" -Guitar that apparently doesn't want to be played"

"Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying 'find em hot and leave em dripping' wasn't a good thing to put on our truck"

"How do the Sith ascend? Elevaders"

"Why was the young strawberry upset? Cause his mom was in a jam. :("

"In a recent court case, the defendant was charged with smuggling bombs inside of living cows... ...Upon hearing this, one of the jurors cried out, ""Abominable!"" (A bomb in a bull)"