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Joke of the Day

"It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver's seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand."

Next Joke
 
"Words cannot describe how cute you are. But numbers can, 3/10."
"I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general."
"Purple is my favorite color! I like it more than blue and red combined."
"It still takes me a while before I completely trust any woman whose name is mentioned in ""Mambo No. 5""."
"You know what makes my blood boil? Temperatures above 100 degrees celsius."
"How many babies does it take to paint a fence? Depends how hard you throw them"
"If youre a serial killer & you dont call your murder shack a 'bloodshed,' well I've just about given up on you"
"What is a Pokemon master's favorite kind of pasta? Wartortellini!"
"I am quite ambitious every morning. I always do 10 sit-ups, just to hit the snooze button 10 times."