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Joke of the Day
"Why was the young strawberry upset? Cause his mom was in a jam. :("
Next Joke
"If she boasts how adult coloring is therapeutic and has made her more tolerant and patient Hide her markers And wait..."
"I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."
"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"
"When I was a kid I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of soda... ....but when I grew up I realised it was just a Fantasea"
"Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy."
"Found a concert that costs 45 cents! ..... It's 50cent and Nickelback /mikedrop"
"How do you make your girlfriend cry while having sex? Phone her"
"Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die."
"Hub: What time is our movie tonight? Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 ""Back off ladies. He's mine"""