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Joke of the Day

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb."

"What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage? Divine intervention. edit: Oh."

"What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink? Si, era Missed"

"What comes after L? Bow"

"Finger wager why do women like the oldest men as their gynecologist. (visualize) uncontrollable shaky finger."

"okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS"

"What's the rate at which racist work is done? Whitepower (Horsepower is the rate at which work is done)"

"A Jew walks into a bar... ...and leaves"

"Art thief. Did you hear about the discerning art thief who burgled the Impressionist exhibit? He was in it for the Monet."