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Joke of the Day

"It all makes sense now!! Gay marriage and Pot legalized on the same day... Leviticus 20:13 ""If a man lays with another man he should be stoned."" We've just been misinterpreting it all these years!!"

"2 Jehovah's witnesses knocked earlier, so I invited them in. I gave 1 the hoover & 1 a mop. If they can do Gods work, they can do mine."

"How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"Elon Musk has decided to abandon his dream of going to Mars and pursue a career in perfume sales. In honor of the canceled Mars program he will be debuting 'SpaceAxe', a signature Elon ""Musk""."

"I've got a joke about metal. Actually, no... Scrap that."

"*crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*"

"My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help."

"To a lot of Americans these days, Donald Trump is just starting to sound like a lot of white noise."

"My girlfriend just became a porn star She's gonna be pretty pissed when she finds out."

"Van Gogh's girlfriend.. Van Gogh's girlfriend was overwhelmed with emotion when he cut off his ear and gave it to her. She said, ""Oh my love, why did you do it?"" Van Gogh replied, ""pardon?"""