180746

Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, violets are yellow, lilacs are cyan, carnations are rainbowish, this LSD pill is lovely."

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die."

"Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account? Because he only had 12 followers."

"If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too"

"Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator."

"What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his Greek sandwich? There goes my gyro"

"*at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not."

"Friday. My second favorite F word."

"When the punchline is in the title. What's the worst kind of joke?"

"Really, auto correct, you don't recognize curse words? Grow the fuvk up."