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Joke of the Day
"I'd tell you a joke about my penis. . . But it's too short & not many people get it."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton? Bill has had sex in the White House."
"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks to work today."
"What do you call a jihadi that owns both a goat and a donkey? Bisexual."
"You name your cat Bowl. What would the name on the cat's bowl be? It would be 'Bowl' and all of your friends would leave you because you are an idiot and named your cat Bowl."
"My girlfriend's refusal to learn the difference between baking soda and washing soda leaves me foaming at the mouth"
"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."
"[at the gym] Trainer: ""Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are."" Me: ""Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."""
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Better yet, dress for jobs that don't even exist. Werewolf psychiatrist. Clown assassin."
"Why don't tennis players get married? Because to them love means nothing."