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Joke of the Day
"[me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?"
Next Joke
"Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? ""Sure""[click] Couple: How does it look? ""I just got my hair done, so pretty good"""
"CNN just said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who the f*ck does the world owe? Jupiter?"
"If you're cold, just stand in a corner... They're usually 90 degrees."
"Q: What's a good place for water-skiing? A: A sloped lake."
"I headed-butted a girl while we were making out. She told me we should just skip the fore-head-play."
"""Wow, you're tall.. Do you play basketball?"" ""Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?"""
"What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes? Crude Oil."
"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."
"Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber."