17610

Joke of the Day

"Knock knock ""Hey Walter, wanna hear a joke?"" ""Sure"" ""Knock kno- "" ""I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!"""

"If you don't like being a door mat....then get off the floor"

"""This won't end well, mark my words. Mark, my words. MARK. MY WORDS! I NEED MY WORDS, MARK!!!"" *Mark sweatily fumbles with the script*"

"Frozen pizza recalled? The government appears to have changed tactics to combat drug users: Legalize pot, but take away their food."

"Someone called me stupid and then blocked me before I even had a chance to agree with them."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors? Because they take everything, literally."

"Advice to those who steal from libraries If someone gets caught stealing from a library, would they get *booked?*"

"Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom."

"Whenever I tinker with the idea of a having a relationship, I go spend a night with my married friends."

"I really admire what Caitlyn Jenner did Took some balls"