139700

Joke of the Day

"Someone called me stupid and then blocked me before I even had a chance to agree with them."

"I almost forgot to wish a happy St. Patty's day to... ...Barack O'Bama Got this from Neil deGrasse Tyson's Twitter."

"What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results"

"If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you."

"Hey girl, are you an integral? Because I'd like to find the area under your curves"

"[police show picture of my dead body at bottom of stairs to wife] ""Why no pants on?"" We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell"

"What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet..."

"Post your original made up joke. No old jokes you've already posted. Here's mine: How did the Asian porn-star become president? By Generar Erection!"

"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""

"I bet if I were a MAN Apple wouldn't tell me my password ideas are weak."