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Joke of the Day

"Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says ""I'll have an H2O"" The second one orders a beer."

"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in fog? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."

"If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid."

"Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !"

"Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms? Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen."

"a keyboard walks into a barbershop on the international space station ""i just want an easy, short cut"". then he hit the bar"

"What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? Having to drop the bomb twice before she gets it."

"I tried to give myself a sex change But I just couldn't pull it off. Credit to Rohan Ganju a young upcoming Australian comedian."

"Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot"

"So Mickey Mouse is in a lawyer's office. The lawyer says ""So you say you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"". Micky Mouse replies ""No, I said she's fucking Goofy!"""