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Joke of the Day

"""Ughhh! It's raining! My hair and shoes are sooo gonna be ruined!"" -rich people. ""WOOHOOO free shower and car wash!"" -poor people."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice"

"If you hate awkward silences, then necrophilia isn't for you."

"Resistance training But me dragging my kids into school."

"/r/jokes It's funny because hardly anything here can be considered a joke."

"The key to success is sincerity... Once you can fake that, you're golden."

"What happens when libertarians and honey badgers don't give a shit together? An ex-lax shortage"

"Gonna invent a drink called Expresso that's just a cup of bees so people will stop asking for espresso incorrectly."

"At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat."

"How can you spot a racist in a crowd? They're the ones shouting ""Black Lives Matter!"""