117820
Joke of the Day
"Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you."
Next Joke
"Can you at least smile if you're gonna be in the background of my selfie, Doc? (takes off rubber glove) ""You can pull up your pants now."""
"Nothing beats a beautiful woman. Except Chris Brown"
"The letter I takes up less room than the letter W yet they're both counted as one character. If Twitter was an Airline this wouldn't happen."
"I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me. But why everyday?"
"Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine."
"""It says here that diarrhea is hereditary..."" It runs in your jeans Credit: @chillblinton"
"A naked women robbed a bank.... A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face"
"Hey smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy."
"Give a man a gun... and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world."