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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot."

"I just remembered the fuck out of the titans."

"Half-Life 3 is getting made."

"What black & White and cool as f**k? A fridge with a leather jacket on."

"If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for."

"How do we know Jesus turned water into wine at parties? Because if he turned the **wine** into **water** someone would have kicked the shit out of him."

"Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity."

"What do cutters and heroin addicts have in common? Long sleeves."

"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."

"""Do not iron"" Like that was ever going to happen..."