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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes things go from bad to worse back to bad then awful, rotten, pure sh1t to pathetic & back to bad which feels ok. Hang in there."

"What's an undertaker's favorite element? Barium!"

"There was a man watering his garden across the street at night. At first I thought he was pissing outside but after a realized he wasnt I said ""I thought you were peeing"" he said ""no I'm Chinese"""

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from a duck"

"I would tell a funny science joke... but all the good ones Argon."

"Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail? He couldn't pay for Baal"

"How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? Not all men."

"Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job."

"Hey baby, you want to come back to my place? I do one hell of a Bill Cosby impression I'd love to show you"

"Ugh, I hate wearing this towel while my wife washes my cape."