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Joke of the Day

"A crow once made plans to hang out with me, but he never showed up... ... because he got arrested for attempted murder."

"Bad news is I'm not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart."

"Why are guys so bad at math? They can't tell the difference between 3 inches and 9 inches."

"What do you call a doll with a fiddle and a hatred of Jews? A Doll Fiddler"

"What does a subatomic duck say? Quark."

"What's one thing you hated as a kid but love as an adult? Molestation."

"What's the difference between apathy and ignorance? I don't know and I don't care."

"My ex-wife still misses America Online... ...BUT HER **A.I.M.** IS GETTING BETTER!"

"First woman on Moon: -Huston, we have a problem? What? -Never mind What's the problem? -Nothing Please tell us? -You know what's the problem"

"How do you break concrete in Doctor Who? With a Captain Jackhammer."